10 Minute Writer

Was it Stephen King? Or Anne Lamott? Or Julia Cameron? I don’t remember, all I remember is that it was suggested to me by some writing guru, that we should both mother and father ourselves as writers.

As I’ve ruminated over that concept in my mind, I envision part of me treating my writing like Phil Dunphy, when it should have been kicked around by Claire. Or  maybe my writing has had far more attention from Homer and and not enough Marge. (Or maybe I’m spending too much time with my television, which clearly means I need more discipline.)

There is a reason why mothers and fathers exist: it’s to emulate God’s care for us, both the nurturing and the disciplined side of himself. He is the perfect parent and gives us what we need. I need to parent myself  as much like him as I can.

We need to balance the way that we treat ourselves. We should be equally disciplined (like a father) and nurturing (like a mother), so that we are comfortable writing, but not so comfortable that we forget our obligations to our art. Too much discipline and order and we get stressed out. Too much coddling and comforting and we get soft and lazy.

Go with me, if you will, into my mind, where the nurturing, soft, feminine side goes toe-to-toe with the task-oriented, masculine side. Which side will win? (And when do I start my counseling?)

Mother:  Aww, you’ve written two hundred words today!  You are so amazing! Have a cookie!

Father: Two hundred words? Come on, you can do more than that! You did 2K a day last November!

Mother: Of course the agents you query will love you. Just do your best. What else can you do?

Father: So what if you get a rejection. Buck up! Try harder! Rewrite that query!

Mother: It isn’t about earning money, dear, it’s about sharing your talent with the world.

Father: Why would you work this hard on something and not want cash?

Mother: Write from your heart!

Father: Write for the market!

Mother: If you get an agent and a publisher, then you’ll have credibility and people behind you, and your books will be everywhere. I can tell my bridge club to buy your book on Amazon!

Father: If you self-publish and get your own books, you’ll have control and more profit and your books will be accessible. I can tell my golfing buddies to buy a copy out of the trunk of my car!

Mother: Social media is not about fame, it’s about relationships.

Father: Social media is about sales, and avoiding those awkward phone calls when I don’t know what to say.

Mother: Nanowrimo is fine, dear. I can do all of your Christmas shopping for you. Just don’t expect me to understand when you leave the Thanksgiving table to get in your word count.

Father: Nanowrimo? If you can write a book in a month, why aren’t you writing twelve a year? You could be rich!

Mother: I loved your book!  It was perfect!

Father: Which of the characters was me?

Mother: So, when you say you’re blogging, isn’t that the same as Facebook?

Father: How about those Red Sox?

So, what do you think? Do you overly mother yourself or overly father yourself? Or are you balanced? Are there any mother/father discussions about writing I’ve forgotten?

Can’t find time to write? Author Allie Pleiter shares her secrets for getting everything done. Welcome, Allie

An avid knitter, coffee junkie, and devoted chocoholic, Allie Pleiter writes both fiction and non-fiction.  The enthusiastic but slightly untidy mother of two, Allie spends her days writing books, buying yarn, and finding new ways to avoid housework.  Allie hails from Connecticut, moved to the midwest to attend Northwestern University, and currently lives outside Chicago, Illinois.  The “dare from a friend” to begin writing has produced two parenting books, fourteen novels, and various national speaking engagements on faith, women’s issues, and writing.

I’m a obsessive list-maker.  I like the order it brings to gigantic tasks, and I crave the way it focuses my wandering attention span.  Mothers are pulled in so many directions that it feels impossible to drown out the clutter of demands long enough to accomplish anything non-urgent.

And writing is sooooo good at looking non-urgent, isn’t it?  We can always finish that chapter tomorrow, or rewrite that passage tonight when things calm down (read: tonight when I’m too tired to do anything but watch television..ha).

I’ve found the most important thing you can do with your daily to do list (other than make one…so start there if you haven’t!) is NUMBER it.  Cut a clear path through your pile of tasks by ordering them #1, #2, #3, etc.  Take into consideration your daily rhythm–I’d never attempt writing first thing in the morning…I’m too foggy brained and frantic getting the boy off to school.  I do, however, make sure prayer and writing are in the top five if not the top three.  And I try to harness my fidgety nature by alternating sit-down tasks with move-around tasks.  Keep me staring at my laptop screen too long, and I’ll start wandering over to Pinterest…and all is lost.

Numbering forces you to filter your tasks through the realism of what’s possible and what’s important.  Numbering reminds you that you can’t actually get everything done every day, so choosing is vital.  Eventually, we learn about how many tasks we can pull off in a day, and we choose more wisely–the “management,” if you will, in “time management.”  That’s what makes it different than mere task-collecting, which is what lots of us do if we fail to look at it closely.

When life gets truly chaotic–when disaster or trauma have rendered us near useless–a numbered list can be a way to hang on for dear life.  On my worst days, I ditch the full blown computerized multi-project list and go low-dose and low-tech.  I’ve been known to pare my entire list down to three small tasks on an index card.  Accomplishing #1 fuels me to attempt #2, even if #1 is nothing more daunting than “get dressed”–and there have been days where even that is daunting enough!  Once I cross off #3 (I’m a big believer in the large, fat, dramatic cross-off line!), I get out another card and start over.  One small task at a time, one card at a time, I pull myself out of the ditch to face another day.  Pretty soon, I’m back at full throttle.

To make another list.

Allie’s lastest book: Homefront Hero is available now.

Dashing and valiantly wounded, Captain John Gallows could have stepped straight out of an army recruitment poster. Leanne Sample can’t help being impressed—although the lovely Red Cross nurse tries to hide it. She knows better than to get attached to the daring captain who is only home to heal and help rally support for the war’s final push. As soon as he’s well enough, he’ll rush back to Europe, back to war—and far away from South Carolina and Leanne. But when an epidemic strikes close to home, John comes to realize what it truly means to be a hero—Leanne’s hero. To read more about this and all the others she’s written  Visit her website at   www.alliepleiter.com or her knitting blog at  www.DestiKNITions.blogspot.com .

Back cover copy:

Let’s just squash all rumors right now that I know what I’m doing. I don’t. I’m just like a lot of other writers out there — I want to be published, I’m weighing my options, I spend way too much time on social media, and I oscillate between thinking I’m a talentless hack and the greatest writer since Homer.\

But there comes a time in every writer’s life when he/she must decide what to do next with their manuscripts. For me, the time has come and I’ve decided to find  an agent.

I need a professional, someone who really gets the business and gets me, to tell me what I should do next. Should I write proposals for traditional publishing houses? Should I consider self-publishing? Are books like mine, Amish Vampire Dystopians (jk), really selling right now? I need help. I need a pro.

I’ve decided to systematically find one. If I were more technologically savvy, I would have created a flow chart to demonstrate how I did this.  Regardless, here are the steps I have taken to narrow down my selection.

Step One:  I created a database using Filemaker Pro. In this database, I had a list of stuff I had to fill out for each agent. Things like: Name, Name of Agency, website, address. Then I had a place to write in if they were accepting unsolicited queries, yes or no. (The yes people will go high on my list.) Do they represent ACFW writers? Do they attend the ACFW conference? And the last section: Which of their are the most like me? Oh, and I leave a place for notes, a place for when I contacted them and my personal ranking number. I think I put this database together in one evening.

This is what my database looks like. Yes, I made it fancy.

Step Two: I added data. This was time consuming. I started with a list Michael Hyatt wrote last year or so about all of the agents he works with that represent Christian books. It’s a long list. From it I went to every single website on this list and put in what I could. Some of the links are dead. Some of the agents I grouped together into their agency, (like Steve Laube and Tamela Hancock Murray, who work together) and some were speakers bureaus or film producers which didn’t help me at all.

Step Three: I researched each agent individually. I was looking for three big things: Are they accepting queries? Do they have comparable authors? Do they work with publishing houses that I like? (I don’t see myself has a writer for Harlequin, so if this agent sells to Harlequin a lot, she might not be a good fit for me.) I make notes on my database.

Step Four: I narrow the list down to the agents that seem to be the best fit. Out of Hyatt’s list, I reduced it to 13.

Step Five:  I re-research each of the thirteen to see what each one requires in my initial contact. Some just want simple e-mail queries (YAY!) some want only snail mail proposals and sample chapters (uh, okay, that means more work) some have online forms to fill out. Some want marketing strategies (yikes). So, I re-arrange the thirteen, ranking them from the easiest to the hardest. My thought here is that I can write a query faster than I can write a proposal, and I don’t expect to be accepted right away. So, I can use the time between queries to perfect the harder document. I think this is a good strategy. I don’t know. But then again, if all new authors are thinking the same thing, then the agents with the easier submission policy have the biggest slush pile — maybe the agents with the more difficult hoops to jump through are the better choice. I don’t know!

Step Six: Choose my number one. (Nope, not telling you who I picked.) And then I meticulously go over their submissions requirements. I will follow these to the letter.

Step Seven: I polish the query. I get my writer friends to check for mistakes. I make it as sparkly and shiny and I possibly can.

Step Eight: I send. Then I pour myself a stiff drink. Maybe I’ll wait until the Friday night Margarita.

Step Nine: I imagine that I will not get a positive response, just the law of averages in play here. But after my first rejection, I’ll go to the my second choice and repeat steps six through eight and wait again.

What happens if I get through all thirteen and get nothing but rejections? I’m not sure. I’m also planning on attending the ACFW conference in September, where I hope I’ll meet some folks face to face (and put more notes in my database) and see where all this leads. This is a long, tedious process and there are so many unknowns out there. But in order to see my dreams fulfilled, I need to step out, do hard things and see what happens.

What about you? Have you submitted to agents? Am I missing any steps? Do you want to represent me?

Shawn Smucker is a Pennsylvania born writer friend of mine. Recently, he set off in an RV to travel from his home in Pennsylvania, down the East Coast, across the South and then points further west and then back again. His blog entries and his Instagram feed make me wish I was tagging along.

It’s time to come clean of my jealously and just admit all the ways I am envious of Shawn Smucker.

1. The whole travel the country gig. My husband and I have been talking about this for years. The closest we ever got was last summer when we piled the gang in our mini-van and drove from Boston to Tulsa. It wasn’t romantic. I didn’t write. And I didn’t blog about it. And my final destination wasn’t the Grand Canyon or anything spectacular, it was my parents’ house.

2. He is taking his wife and four children. I have a husband and five children. After eating sauerkraut two days in a row and then getting back into a cramped mini-van, I would have loved to have had one fewer person. Which brings me to my next point.

3. He and his family eat ridiculous amounts of ice cream. We have dairy allergies. Sigh.

4. On his travels, he got to meet a mutual friend, Jen Luitweiler, who is very dear to me and yet, I have never met in person. Double sigh.

Maile Smucker and Jen Luitweiler

5. He blogs every day — and his descriptions of the people and places he’s been are poetic and beautiful and sometimes ethereal and otherworldly. Shawn is an excellent writer.

6. He actually enjoyed the Grand Canyon. As a child, my family visited there and did the whole Griswold Family Tour (Five minutes. One photograph. Get back in the car.)

7. His children never misbehave and he never argues with his wife. (Or if they do, he’s not blogging about it.) Maybe there’s a part of me that is putting off our family adventure just because of this. Or maybe, he can separate the bickering in the back seat from the beauty of the world around him. Maybe I’ll be able to do that too someday.

8. The road trip is one of the many steps he’s taken to fully walk in his calling as a writer. It means sacrifice for his family and it’s scary. I get this. I’m jealous of the way he’s not letting his fears or practicality or others’ reactions keep him from pursuing his dreams. His children get to watch this and it will effect them far more than their spectacular views of this great country.

9. He has way more likes than me on Instagram. But then, I’m taking pictures of vegetables wearing mustaches.

10. I am jealous mostly, because his book, Building A Life Out of Words is released. He has readers. He has something to promote and it’s not a trifle of a book — it’s beautiful and thoughtful and inspiring. Make sure you buy his book, read his blog and be jealous of him.

You’ll be glad you did.

There is a big issue in my life that has been around for some time. This is the issue that I think about more than homeschooling and more than writing. I want to explain what I’m going through. Yet, I don’t want to go into detail. I don’t want to hash and rehash the decisions, mistakes and milestones from the last 13 years and I really don’t want near strangers to tell me I’m doing it wrong. So, I’ve decided to talk in code. My metaphor for my big issue will be, for the sake of privacy, a broken piano.

My piano is broken. It has been for a very long time. When my husband and I acquired it in ’98, we had big plans for it: how it would meet the needs of our growing family, how we could bless others with it, how it would reflect our personalities. All we had to do was fix it. The plan was to wait a few years until we had all of our resources in place (there are other needs besides pianos) and then it would be fixed.

But in 2001, the worldwide economy bust hit us on a personal level. This postponed our plans. Our response to this was to pray. We would ask God, who we believed gave us the piano in the first place, to give us the resources we would need to fix it. He didn’t exactly answer us. Instead he challenged us to trust him.

We did. And if anything this broken piano is good for, it’s there to remind me that God is in control. That his plans for my life are not always comfortable but they are good.

In the beginning, having a broken piano wasn’t a big deal. Lots of people we knew had broken pianos. But I watched them as they repaired theirs, sold them, acquired another one, sold that one, and their lives were better. Nothing happened with ours.

As the years went by, people who knew us closely, and knew how badly we needed to get this piano fixed would rally around us and pray. They knew our family was growing and the necessity of having a functioning piano was obvious. We clung to our original vision — it was still a good one — and believed that somehow God would bless us so that we could fix it and then all would be well.

One can’t know our family for long without getting an explanation of the broken piano. Maybe this is why I hate it. I can’t hide it. Once I might have said, “Yes! This is cool piano! It will be awesome when it gets fixed!” But now I pray silently to myself, “Don’t ask me about it. Please!”

The years went by and the piano was still not fixed. Well meaning friends suggested that I go on reality television shows — ones that deal with situations like ours — for a free solution. I refused. The thought of my hardship on television was mortifying. I also thought that getting on one of those shows was a lot of work and there were no guarantees. Wouldn’t it make more sense to trust God? He always comes through, doesn’t he? Others, also well meaning, asked personal questions about our resources or offered advice we didn’t want or solutions we had already addressed. Talking about my piano like this was exhausting and painful.

The problem with having an issue like this is that publicly I wanted prayer and attention, but privately, I wearied of  updates. I would meet people, years later, and they would say things like, “So! I imagine your piano is all fixed now! How are you liking it?” And I would shiver, and try not to cry and say, ” It’s still broken. We’re still trusting God.” And then they wouldn’t know what to say and I wouldn’t either and then I would try not to get angry at God for putting me in that situation.

Often I would go to other people’s homes and see their piano and how much they enjoyed it and try not to cry. We would enjoy ours too. Why can’t we fix ours? Why is this such an issue?

The enemy often came in at this point. “You don’t deserve to have your piano fixed.” “You’ve got all these other sins in your life, that’s why God hasn’t let this happen.” “You need to pray more, you need to be a better wife and mom, then maybe God will have mercy on you.” “God has forgotten you.” “Your trust in him will get you nothing but pain.” As you can imagine, when these thoughts were left unchecked, my broken piano became a force of destruction against my soul. I wish I could say I always successfully fought against these feelings, but I didn’t.

You say, “It’s only a piano!” Yes. It is. There is so much more to life than this. God has made it very clear that my importance and significance doesn’t come from whether or not my piano is fixed, whether or not it is lovely to listen to, whether or not I can do with it what I dream of doing with it. My significance comes from God. He is using the broken piano for something beautiful. And I don’t always know what it is.

I do know that there is a part of me that made having a functional piano somewhat of an idol. That only a functioning piano would make me happy. That is not true. There is a part of me that gets angry that most of the families I know have functioning pianos and they take them for granted. They don’t realize what they have. There is a part of me that thinks that if I had a functioning piano, I would abuse it in a way and hoard it, or not allow my children to enjoy it or get so wrapped up in it that I would lose sight of everything else.  There’s a part of me that sees the good things in my children that wouldn’t be there without the broken piano. There’s a part of me that knows, without a doubt, that if I didn’t have this broken piano in my life, I would be a worse person.

This broken piano has forced me to die. I’ve had to throw myself at the mercy of God and repent of the ugliness that is in me. This broken piano has forced me to look at my other possessions and say to them, “you don’t have a hold on me.” This broken piano has forced me to see that there is so much more to my family than what we own. This broken piano has made me look like a fool because I forget that there are so many other wonderful things in my life, like five healthy children and a good marriage — things that could make me the envy of others, things that are directly from God’s hand, not my own, things that, in the long run, are far more valuable than pianos.

Last September, after 13 years, my husband I decided that it was time to remove this piano out of our lives altogether. This would mean a death of a dream. This decision was a hard one. In some regards you could say that we failed. Yet, perhaps by releasing it, its painful hold on us is broken.

I am excited and fearful. I’m glad that this piano will no longer be a part of my life. I won’t see it every day. I won’t have to explain myself to anyone anymore. The shame of it is gone. Perhaps the original goals can be accomplished but in another way. I’m also fearful. I’m fearful that I never really learned these 13 year old lessons. I’m fearful that if I get what I want for my family I’ll be unhappy with it. I’m fearful that God is going to disappoint me after my very long wait.

Many people have a broken piano in their lives. They may have an issue, that almost defines them, that they don’t want to have another conversation about. This broken piano has taught me to be gentle with others’ pain, to listen more than talk, to encourage rather than advise and to trust God even more.

So, do you have a broken piano? Have you felt about it the way I have? How has its presence in your life changed you?

I sigh and bring ten books to the front desk of the library. One is a collection of essays from a prominent magazine writer. One is a book of humor from the ’80′s. One is a PEANUTS collection. Two or three are rom-coms that I’ll probably lose my  patience with. One is a thick book that I think I’m supposed to have read. One is by an author I’ve heard of — maybe he wrote a mini-series for television or something. And then there are a couple of more that landed in the pile because I liked the cover or it was displayed by the librarian or something equally silly.

It seems rather excessive to have so many books checked out when I’ll be back next week to check out ten more. I can’t read this many in a week. I barely finish one in a week. The high number is necessary because I know that most of that pile (with the exception of PEANUTS, which will be read in an evening) will be given a chapter or two to audition with me. Most will be rejected, put on the same shelf at home that I keep the children’s library books, and brought back unread.

The books must have some merit, or they wouldn’t be published. But I’m fussy. I know what I like, and sadly, it can’t be categorized like romance or mystery.  I like books that make me forget I’m reading a book, like The Help or A Prayer For Owen Meany or Freedom. I like books that get me so wrapped up that I forget to make dinner. I like books that make me cry because I think, for just a minute, that I’ll never be able to write that well. I like the books I read aloud to my children, most recently Watership Down, that we regret having to stop and move on with our day. These type of books are very hard to find.

So, in the meantime, I’m plowing through my pile in from the library. Some I’m finishing — yesterday I decided to finish this stupid rom-com just out of spite — and some I’m not. I’m trying not to feel guilty about not loving the latest popular book, or feel dumb because I’m not ecstatic over Thomas Hardy nor feel ethnocentric because I’m not all that interested in The Life of Pi. The important thing is that I’m trying. I’m ingesting as much as I can from writers around me. The words, good, bad or exquisite float off the page, into my subconscious, and nourishes me in one way or another. This will be reflected in my writing. This will make me a better writer.

What about you? What are you reading that you love? Are you fussy too? Why? And what do you recommend to me the next time I go to the library?

I met author Gina Conroy on Twitter a couple of years ago. (Twitter is the BEST PLACE to meet fellow writers.) Our conversation went something like this:

Me: Oh, you went to the same college my husband went to!

GC: No way!

Me: Too bad you don’t live in Tulsa anymore, I’m going there next week.

GC: I DO live in Tulsa!

So, we met for coffee and she and I talked writing. She gave me links, names of agents, and pointed me to ACFW. She was really the first “real” writer that encouraged me when I was just getting my toe wet in this business.

Recently, she released Cherry Blossom Capers and I was more than happy to talk to her about it. Meet author, Gina Conroy!

You’re a busy mom of four, how do you manage your time so you can write and market and hone your craft?

Tough question as the answer is always changing. I have to be flexible because our normal schedule changes seasonally. Even though I’m no longer homeschooling and I have time to myself during the day, I’m not at the place where I write daily. I haven’t mastered writing my new WIP AND marketing my published novella yet. Though I do have an ideal schedule in mind yet to be implimented, I have to work on little projects and goals at a time. Sometimes that’s just working on my proposal like I’ve been doing for the last two months without writing new words. Other times it’s writing frantically all weekend and then setting aside my WIP for weeks. It’s not ideal for finishing novels, but it’s what I can do right now. It’s taken me a long time to learn that family comes first, and I’ll have plenty of time to write when they’re out of the house. For now, I drag my netbook to the coffee shop and get some work done while I’m waiting on kids to finish their activities.

What do you say to that little voice that says publication is too hard, or you’re not good enough?

I say, “You’re right, publication is hard, but I know how to work hard. And my agent says I’m a good writer, so there!” Honestly, having a professional affirm you whether by landing an agent or having another writer you respect say you’re writing is good, it goes a long way. I try to remind myself of that when the negative voices get too loud.

Describe one of your most satisfying moments since becoming published:

Positive book reviews are always a plus, but one of the most satisfying moments is when a new friend became interested in my writing journey and thought me worthy to interview on his youtube channel so that I could encourage others to pursue their callings. We’re in the process of producing that show and I’m still in awe that little ol’ me and my journey (trials and triumphs) might reach a wider audience and encourage others to pursue their passions

I know you’re active in the ACFW. How does your involvement make you a better writer?

I found ACFW when I was a new writer and I learned so much by joining a critique group. Then I attended the conferences and I learned more and built lasting relationships that have carried me through the road to publication these last seven years. It wonderful when you find a place where you really fit and connect and don’t let anyone tell you your online friendships aren’t real! My online relationships I made through ACFW are more real than my real life friendships. It’s not about proximity, but the amount of time you pour into a friendship that counts! Oops, off on a tangent. It makes me a better writer because of the relationships and the freedom I feel to ask and offer help and encouragement!

If you could go back in time and say something to Gina who was just starting out, what would you say?

RUN AWAY!! But seriously, I wouldn’t have listened anyway because I’m one of those writers who can’t not write. Instead, I might say, “Relax, work hard at your craft, but don’t try to make it happen. Your efforts won’t get you a contract. It might get you closer to one, but ultimately it’s God’s timing and dumb luck that will land you a book deal. So do what you know you’re called to do and give the rest to God!” Although, I probably wouldn’t have listened either. I guess it takes walking through the desert to learn a lesson like that. Though I’m soooo thankful now that I feel I’ve just entered the promised land. Just hoping I’m not experiencing a mirage and that I’ve finally arrived at the place called surrender!

Give us an elevator pitch for your next book:

In Buried Deception, archaeologist Samantha Steele and security guard Nick Porter must set aside their stubbornness and rely on each other to find a artifact forger at Mount Vernon Estates or the results could be deadly.

What are your favorite blogs and resources?

Too many to mention all of them, but of course, my favorite is mine… http://writerinterrupted.com NOT because I write for it, but I seek out writers and topics I’m interested in and I’ve designed the site to make it easy to find what you’re looking for unlike the typical daily blog, though we do post daily. Other blogs worth mentioning include:

http://chipmacgregor.typepad.com/ My agent, who always has something relevant and interesting to say about the publishing industry.

http://writerunboxed.com Wonderful variety of authors and topics
http://www.mybooktherapy.com/ Great teaching on the craft

Thanks Gina! Great to meet you again, and Congratulations!

My husband takes the commuter rail into the city every morning. On some cars, you can sit facing backward. A rider may avoid the glaring morning sun this way, or chit-chat  with the person across from him or just gain a new perspective.

As I plod along in my wip, I’ve decided to take a ride backwards too. And like the train ride, I’m gaining a new perspective and that glaring writer’s block is avoided.

The estranged boyfriend shows up unexpectedly. The abused woman confronts her abuser. The future comedian finally gets that open mike at the club. The lonely bachelor reveals his feelings towards his mother’s caregiver. This is a list of events that should happen halfway in my story. They are hinges on which the entire beginning swings. If I write these correctly, the reader will be so intrigued that they won’t want to put the book down, that they’ll stay up all night to finish and find out what happens next?

Once I listed those key events, I asked myself these questions:

1. Where does this happen?

2. What is the emotional condition of all the characters involved? Are they angry? Hopeful? Vulnerable? Defensive?

3. What three things lead  up to this event?

The first question, Where does this happen? is pretty straightforward. I need to know where this event will take place. Do I have that setting established in my mind yet? Can I see it? Should I describe it for my reader? How do the characters get to that place? Is there way to make this setting really interesting, like it’s not only taking place in the cab of a pick-up truck, but there’s a blizzard going on and the driver can’t see where he’s going?

The second question, What is the emotional condition of all the characters involved? Are they angry? Hopeful? Vulnerable? Defensive? All characters come into a situation with baggage of some sort. It may be the pain of an abused childhood or it may be a lack of sleep or it may be the irritation of an infected hangnail. I need to know what I am dealing with when I write the scene. The more intensive the emotional condition, the better the scene will be.  For instance, I want Ben to convince Amanda that they belong together. My goal is that they get together in the end. But at this point in the book, Amanda has to resist him. She doesn’t like his occupation as a tiger tamer. She is constantly at odds with his one-armed sister. She really hates the cut of his jib. So, when this scene takes place, I’ll have to set her up emotionally to dismiss any of his romantic attention.

The third question, What three things lead  up to this event? How did Ben and Amanda get caught in the snowstorm while driving the pick-up? Maybe they were too busy arguing over the salt and pepper shakers that they missed the weather alerts on television. Maybe when Ben’s grandmother requested that Amanda get the shakers in her will, this caused more fighting between Amanda and the one-armed sister? Maybe the one-armed sister would rather have the shakers than the pogo-stick that she can enjoy because she has one arm? (I’m having a lot of fun with this.)

By the time I answer all these questions, my story is coming together. I see new developments in it that I didn’t have before. It feels like the journey from Z to A is more interesting than the other way around. I feel good about my story and don’t feel blocked at all. So, maybe thinking backward is a great way to plot this novel out and fight writer’s block.

What about you? Have you ever written your story backward? Has it helped? What have you learned about the process?

I am obsessed with Mad Men.

I don’t know if I have ever been mesmerized by a television show before. I love it for so many reasons and I think it’s a combination — a sum of all it’s perfect, 1960′s parts that woos me in and keeps me breathless for 45-ish minutes.

My husband and I were late to the cocktail party. Our first exposure to MM came years ago when only one episode was on Netflix. It was the one where Don flies to Baltimore. We didn’t see what the fuss was then. When the first season became available, we gave it another chance and I was completely smitten.

I’d love it even if it didn’t have any sound. I love the art design. I remember kitchens like Betty’s. We had those glasses! My husband remembered those bean bag ashtrays with the plaid bottoms. Just watching Mad Men brings me back to my childhood, even though there was a good ten years difference.

I feel like I understand that generation better. I’d like to think that most of the adults in the 1960′s dealt with their emotional health much the same way Don and Betty do — poorly. If this is true, then it explains a lot about who my parents and their generation are and why their worldview is so vastly different from mine.

I know people who are ashamed of their poverty, like Don. There are people I know, only one generation back, who didn’t have indoor toilets, who lived by their wits and who still, after forty years, carry the burden of inferiority and inadequacy much like Don carries around that box of photos. As much as I want to run Don over with my car sometimes, I can see why he acts the way he does.

I’ve forgotten that the idea of women in the workplace, beyond secretaries, was revolutionary. Women like Peggy Olson were the exception, not the rule. And as much as I want to slap her for being so mousy sometimes, I see now that women like her didn’t have the executive skills that power women take for granted today. Unless their names were Joan and they stopped time just by walking in a room.

I can’t imagine living in such violent times — but then I don’t read the paper very often. In an article I read about Mad Men, it said that if you were around during the time of Civil Rights, you didn’t think of it as a national crisis or that you were a part of history-making decisions. You just lived your life. It was the stuff that happened around you. Someday someone may ask my kids, what was it like to live during the War On Terror? They’ll probably just pull a Harry Crane: push up their glasses and get back to their television watching.

I LOVE the subtlety of the writing. The writers of each episode do so much with just bits of information, overheard phone calls, quick little comments. And the actors let those glances and small gestures speak volumes. I almost come unglued watching the stories unfold. More than once, my husband and I have had to stop and re-listen to figure out what happened. This is exactly the kind of storytelling I love– when the audience is given just bits — no spoonfeeding here — and I’m compelled to watch more.

I wish the girls would say no once in a while. Surely Miss Blankenship isn’t the only secretary Don hasn’t made the moves on, right? I would think that somewhere in Manhattan there would be a nice girl who doesn’t get drunk at the office parties.

If there’s a sequel, (which there probably won’t be) I’d like to see how Sally grows up to be a flower child in San Fran, how Roger’s daughter, Margaret becomes a Jesus Freak and mortifies her parents and how Joan keeps that figure throughout the ’70′s. Would I identify as well with those characters? Would I be just as engrossed as I am now?

Try me, oh you delicious creators of Mad Men. Try me. If you don’t, I’ll go Mad for sure.

Do you love Mad Men as much as I do? What about it do you love? Do you hate Pete and wish Trudy would leave him? Do you think Duck Phillips’ voice sounds eerily like Mitt Romney’s? Do you want to slap Betty in every episode like I do?