10 Minute Writer

My dearest readers, (Russian Spammers, I am not addressing you)

Back in the creation of this blog, my purpose was to list practical ways busy writers could squeeze in time to pursue their dreams. At the time, I had decided to write a novel in the midst of household and family demands, so this thought was a frequent one. Also, at the time, I found so little satisfaction in other areas in my life, I had the novel to be my comfort and my therapy while I waited on other aspects of my life to improve.

At the beginning of the summer, I decided to take some time to prayerfully focus on the biggest needs of my life, ones that I’ve only briefly mentioned here. This prayer time, which went from only a few days to a few months, required me to lay aside my online time. I didn’t write much, I didn’t blog much, and I went for almost four weeks total without Facebook. (You have no idea the sacrifice that was!)

In that time, some very amazing things happened. I wish I could share them in this forum, because I would like to see everyone embrace a prayer life, but much of this was so sweet and so intimate between me and The Lover Of My Soul, that I think to reveal it all would cheapen it. Forgive me if I pique your curiosity. (If you want to know what it is like to be intimately loved by God, ask him yourself.)

By the end of the summer, not only did I have a clear direction for my family’s future (of which my husband came to the same conclusion separately), but I have a new vision of my purpose as a writer and as an encourager. I’m not so sure that this blog and my novel are part of my immediate future. Other issues, long dormant ones, ones that I’ve been waiting on for years, are going to be addressed. I believe that God is bringing me to a place where my heartache will be completely healed. And writing, at least for a little while, might not be the therapeutic outlet it once was.

At first I balked at this suggestion, “What? Give up my novel?” But then God, as tenderly as always, said, “There is a fresh new healing. Give your time to that. The novel will have its place later.”

I am hoping in the next few weeks, I am able to put aside this vagueness and tell you specifically what I mean, but we’re waiting on a financial and professional breakthrough — one that might even put my husband in a high profile position. I can’t jeopardize this by blabbering on a public blog.

This is all very good news. But there is the bittersweet. If I step away from this blog, then I potentially lose some great friends. My new relationships have been a joyous surprise. Their friendship transcends a blog — and almost even transcends Facebook — and I firmly believe that they will stick with me no matter what I write or do, online or off.

Perhaps, I will blog again — with a focus less on writing, but more on growing in confidence in all areas, maybe a little hospitality and domestic commentary, maybe a few photos, think Pioneer Woman set in a scenic coastal historical New England town?

In the meantime, I’m still going to Twitter and Facebook, so if you haven’t friended or followed me, please do!

I don’t mean to disappoint or sadden anyone. This is a God-directed new thing. God’s new paths are great adventures and they always surpass every expectation.

All my love,

Katharine Grubb, the former 10 Minute Writer

1. Why I am blogging today I think I need to check in. I am not writing for a while, nor am I thinking about writing, so any advice or encouragement about writing just isn’t there. However, I do understand that my handful of readers just might be curious about my marginally interesting life. In the most general sense, I will say this: my husband and I are still praying and fasting about our future. Some things are very clear, yet somethings remain to be seen. Please continue to pray for us that this matter is resolved quickly.

2. Today is my wedding anniversary! My husband and I celebrate 13 years of marital bliss today! My prayer for the next 13 is that we are full of joy and blessing. Tonight Marc and I are going out to dinner and a movie. YAY US!

3. A Little Word About Convictions Yesterday, I was given a well-intentioned, but impractical suggestion to a problem that I have. Maybe it’s just me, maybe I don’t take advice well. But I realized that the most painful advice I receive is when someone asks me to question my convictions. Without sounding like a whiner, I do have an unusual amount of restrictions on my life. I make decisions on what is best for me, my husband and my children and I stick to them. Even though I realize that they may cause discomfort in another area, it is my choice. I will stick with my decisions, not because I am stubborn, not because I am proud, but because I can’t afford to chase after the wind with every idea that pops out of so-and-so’s mouth. My trust is in the one who gave me this direction. I will trust only in him to meet all my needs, even though it seems as though I have been forgotten. So if you have some great advice for me (like having Extreme Home Makeover fix my housing issue, or demanding that my husband make more money, or driving 90 minutes to entirely different town just drink coffee with a stranger, or put my kids in school –ballet, soccer, violin, karate, scouts, etc just because it will give us more friends) please don’t take it personally if I don’t jump up and down at the suggestion.

4. Student Of The Day This has been, by far, my most brilliant homeschool idea EVAH! On the first day of our homeschool, three weeks ago, I announced that every day one child would be honored for their good attitude, helpfulness and general willingness to bless Mommy. That child would be declared Student Of The Day and their picture would be hung on our dry erase board for the remainder of the day. Nothing I have done has ever motivated my children more. The first day, Veronica, who you must understand is a 3 year old girl, so her likelihood of receiving this is pretty slim actually WON! Then the second day, 5 year old Perrin (who couldn’t STAND losing to his little sister, won). The next day, Veronica kept herself busy all morning creating her own sign and picture and then declared herself the student of the day. And today, I had five such magnificently well-behaved children, I could not pick the best one! ( I don’t want to start the precedent of “ties”.) This makes my homeschool morning such a wonderful experience. I have great kids and I am immensely proud of them.

5. To the question, “How was your summer?” My answer is: “Quiet. I’ve been praying a lot.” And I’ve experienced some amazing things. I hope I can write about all of them very soon. I think it’s just as thrilling as a trip to Disneyland.

I don’t have anything else to say. Perhaps this season of solitude is making me a little less vocal about life. Maybe I missed my calling. Maybe I should have taken a vow of silence and lived tucked away in a cloister.

But something tells me they wouldn’t Facebook.

I am going to blog about what happened to me at the playground today for three reasons. First, my poor husband will be grateful that you, my patient readers, will soften the blow when I recount the story to him. Secondly, I have removed myself from the distractions that are Facebook and Twitter, and if I vent here, then I can have the satisfaction of a worthy audience. And thirdly, which is probably the most important, writing will make me calm down.

I took my five children to a local playground today. It was not our regular haunt, but it is a very nice one, with a fenced in area around the climbing apparatus. I like my kids to be fenced in. They can pretty much do as they please, within the boundaries of the play area.

After playing for about 20 minutes, my five kids were having a nice time playing a rousing game of tag. Tag is much more fun when you have stuff to climb and run around. My friend, Lauren, and her 3 kids joined us and her three joined in the tag game. I was chatting with Lauren and I didn’t see what was happening in the play area.

When I looked up, I saw an older, white haired woman scolding my older two girls. ( Who are 10 & 11). My thought on strangers talking to my children is this: I don’t mind you being friendly, but if you are correcting them, you better have a valid reason. The girls had confused looks on their faces. I asked the woman exactly what it was that they did that was wrong.

She told me. They were running.

I really was baffled. This is a public playground.

Her argument was that there were a lot of little kids in this playground and the big kids needed to play, NOT RUN, so that they would not be in any danger.

I asked her, what little kids? The majority of them in this playground were mine.

She said, ALL OF THEM.

Huh?

Then she pointed out my son and said that he almost ran into a pole because he was running. This isn’t safe, she said, and if he wanted to run he should stay in his own backyard.

Keep in mind no one was hurt.

I asked her again, which specific children she was the most concerned about, thinking that she would probably point out another one of my kids, who had already had half a dozen boo-boos and were none the worse for wear. And again, she said, “ALL OF THEM”.

This made no sense to me. She would not identify with any specific child. She would not clarify what specific offense my children were committing, she just wanted the running and playing and having fun to stop now. Because someone would get hurt.

I don’t remember what I said then. I think it was somewhere on the lines of the fact that “THIS IS A PUBLIC SPACE! WE CAME HERE TO RUN! YOUR REQUESTS ARE COMPLETELY UNREASONABLE!”

She did not see it this way. She said something like public spaces should be safe (which, by the way, no one at this point is hurt or injured) and we should go outside of the fenced in area if we wanted to run so the little kids would be safer.

At this point, my blood pressure was through the roof. I yelled at all my kids and said, “We are going to the little kid playground (across the park) where we will be allowed to run and play and have fun.” Of course, one of my kids started crying. I said (which probably wasn’t the nicest thing in the world to say) “Look what you did! You made my kids upset. Thanks a lot.”

Then I took my brood and went to another part of the park. I was furious to see that this crazy lady had moved her grandchild to the swings and wasn’t even in the part we left. My friend Lauren approached her and asked her how old her granddaughter was. She said, “3 1/2″

Lauren pointed out that the apparatus we were originally playing on was designed for kids ages 5-12. The sign said so. Her kid shouldn’t have been there in the first place. The crazy lady did say, to her credit, “Point well taken.”

Now I could have gone back to the original play space. But truthfully, I was very afraid of what I would have said, in front of my children, to this micromanaging busybody. I would probably not have made my point clear, I probably would have just resorted to name-calling. (Hateful ol’ bitty.)

So I enjoyed the afternoon with my kids, who wound up having a nice time anyway. I feel sorry for that 3 1/2 year old. If her grandmother does this to everyone, she’s going to have neither friends nor fun.

Then I drove home, thinking about all of the things I wish I would have said.

Then I got mad because my husband (who was working at home today) didn’t meet me at the door to hear me recount the tale of this terrible injustice.

Then I decided that writing it all out would do me wonders.

I hope you found it entertaining.

Whew! I feel a lot better.

It has been my very great pleasure to make a new friend, Mary Lenaburg. She’s working on two books and has faced hardship that has only strengthened her faith. I am delighted that she agreed to answer a few questions. Please welcome, Mary Lenaburg!

1. What made you decide to write?

I can’t remember ever “deciding” to write. I have been writing all my life. When I was younger I had trouble reading and writing. In college I was diagnosed with mild dyslexia, although by that time I had learned to compensate on my own for my reading and writing challenges. I even wrote for the school newspapers in high school and college and loved it. Then I married and stayed home with my children and began to journal about parenthood. I took off on the adventure of homeschooling my son, and learned right along with him all the grammar I never really understood in school. I love writing about life and lessons learned. I love encouraging others. I write about my disabled daughter all the time. I write about everything she has taught me and how my life has been blessed because of her. I have been blogging for two years and this has opened up a whole new writing world to me. Now I am not only writing for my personal blog Passionate Perseverance but also for a new Catholic woman’s ministry called Phases of Womanhood.

2. This is your chance to pitch! Can you tell us about your novel?

I am writing an Inspirational Romance. It’s “incomplete” at the moment. That’s all I can really say because I have set it aside to write the memoir.

3. What benefit is it to attend conferences?

I have been apart of RWA (Romance Writer’s for America) and ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writer’s) for three years now and have learned so much about the art of writing as well as the publishing industry. I just joined the Catholic Writer’s Guild after attending their conference this past summer. The lectures given at each of these conferences on craft and structure are invaluable to me. I am a natural storyteller but not the best writer. I have trouble with grammar and punctuation. It’s where my dyslexia shows up. I also have trouble with conflict, so the conferences help me figure out how to make my story better. It also gives me an opportunity to meet other writer’s. Woman who share many of my same struggles. There is community and camaraderie.

4. Who has been your biggest influence? And, if I were to compare you favorably to another author, who would you like that to be?

I would have to say Nora Roberts and Debbie Macomber have been my biggest influences. I have read them both for years. Nora is all about her characters. You care about them, you cheer them on. I don’t know anyone who does it better. Debbie is an inspiration to me because of her storytelling. She too had learning disabilities growing up and she persevered. She is a master at setting and internal conflict. She creates a place you want to go visit again and again. Both of these woman have created long running series that keep their audiences coming back again and again.

As for comparing me to another author…I would love to tell a story as well as Lisa Wingate. She makes you laugh and cry, sometimes in the same page. The way she weaves a story together is tremendous. The balance between romance, woman’s fiction and inspiration is wonderful. “Tending Roses” is one of my all-time favorite books. She is the type of author I aspire to be.

5. How do you see God using you in your writing? (And, please, don’t be overly humble. God is certainly using your writing!)

God is very present in everything I write. My blog is all about living the best Catholic Christian life I can. My memoir is about my daughter and how God has created miracle after miracle in our family’s life. I learn more about my God everyday and I am so blessed by His mercy and unfailing love.

6. Please tell us about your memoir, your daughter, and what prompted you to write about it.

Unable to speak, see, or walk my profoundly disabled 17-year-old daughter Courtney has taught more people about God’s love and mercy than I, an able bodied person could ever hope. Courtney has beaten all the medical odds and continues to amaze us with her tenacity and strength of will to live. Love Conquers All is a memoir of how Courtney has transformed not only my heart, but also the hearts of our family and our entire community. This memoir traces our steps as we learn that she is not a broken being, she is perfect in God’s eyes, and she has a job to do that is an important as any of ours.
In 2000 we took Courtney to Lourdes, France on a healing pilgrimage. This book tells that story and what has transpired since then. I was tired of everyone telling me I should write a book. I decided that it was time to write everything down. We shall see what God wants to do with it. The manuscript has been requested by three Catholic presses. I will be sending it out in the early fall. At that point, if God wants it sold, than He will make it happen.

7. What does your daily writing time look like?

Mostly chaos and anarchy. I have realized I must start a “regular” daily writing schedule. When I finally sat down to write my goals I knew it was way past time to stop “winging it” and I finally set a writing time. I take my daughter to school and then I write for the next three to four hours on my memoir. If I have any time left before I pick her up, I will work on blog posts and other projects. Then it’s all about my daughter. Once my husband is home, dinner is done and Courtney is in bed for the night, I may go back to it. Usually though I use that time to read. The more I get into writing the less TV I watch.

8. If you could go back and talk to yourself as a new writer, say, five years ago, what would you tell yourself?
“You can do this. I doesn’t matter is you can’t spell or your grammar is horrible. That’s why God created editors and critique groups. Get your bum in the chair and finish the book!”

9. Do you have an agent? How did you obtain one?
I don’t currently have an agent. I have decided that it may time to begin queries though. This is something I am currently doing research on.

10. And could you give us a 100 word biography? Including your website, blog, etc?
I am a faithful Catholic Christian writer, a loving wife to Jerry and a proud mother of Courtney and Jonathan. I write about the things I am most passionate about: faith, family, food, fiction and fashion. I strive to live more like Mary, our Blessed Mother and less like Martha. Maybe one day I will succeed! You can find me blogging at Passionate Perseverance (www.passionateperseverance.blogspot.com) and Phases of Womanhood (www.phasesofwomanhood.org).